Loss affects us all, and can be just as distressing if it comes suddenly, or if we have time to prepare. Things that cause us to feel loss range from berievements, to the loss of a job, loss of identity, or the loss of something or someone significant to you.
Common Grief Reactions
Feelings
Anger, Sadness, Guilt, Anxiety, Loneliness, Fatigue, Helplessness, Shock, Yearning, Emancipation, Relief, Numbness
Physical
Dry Mouth, Tight Chest, Hollow Stomach, Tight Throat, Noise Sensitivity, Breathlessness, Lack of energy, Sense of Unreality.
Thoughts
Disbelief, Confusion, Pre-occupation, Hallucinations, Sense of Presence.
Behaviours
Appetite Disturbance, Sleep Disturbance, Absent Mindedness, Crying, Social Withdrawal, Dreams of the Deceased, Sighing, Overactive and Restlessness, Avoiding reminders of the deceased, Treasuring places or pbjects in memory of the deceased.
Four Tasks of Mourning
- To accept the Reality of the Loss
- Work through to the pain or the grief
- Adjust to an environment in which the deceased (or lossed subject) is missing
- Emotionally Relocate the deceased (or lossed subject).
How do I know if I have finished?
Some people never finish grieving for the thing/person they have lost. Working through the four tasks above can help to relieve the pain. According to Worden, mourning is said to be finished when you can think about the deceased / lost person without pain, and when you feel able to re-invest your emotions back into your life and into other people.
Further information and local support
Useful Reading
There are many self help books on the market, whether you are coming to terms with loss yourself or wanting to know how best to support a loved one. Here are a few examples.
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